I Tell Ya, These Liberals and Their Climate Change...

On Monday, yet another tree-hugging, bleeding-heart, the-sky-is-falling, Chicken Little, alarmist, anti-American, anti-capitalist, and Marxist-Leninist organization sounded the "destroy our economy" rally horn to summon all the socialist scientists on the government till and ever reliably left-leaning Hollywood to its cause.

Just look at some of the ridiculously panic-stricken claims this group made about how global warming will affect us:

• Rising global temperatures, changing precipitation patterns, climbing sea levels, and more extreme weather events will intensify the challenges of global instability, hunger, poverty, and conflict. They will likely lead to food and water shortages, pandemic disease, disputes over refugees and resources, and destruction by natural disasters in regions across the globe.
• [These climate change impacts] all place additional burdens on economies, societies, and institutions around the world.
• The third National Climate Assessment notes that certain types of weather events have become more frequent and/or intense, including heat waves, heavy downpours, and, in some regions, floods and droughts.
• Sea levels are rising, oceans are becoming more acidic, and glaciers and arctic sea ice are melting.
• Scientists predict that these changes will continue and even increase in frequency or duration over the next 100 years.
• These climate-­related effects are already being observed...throughout the U.S. and overseas...
• The changing climate will affect operating environments and may aggravate existing or trigger new risks to U.S. interests.
• A changing climate will have real impacts on our military and the way it executes its missions.

Oh, man, that last one was just too rich for words, eh? I mean, sheesh, if the liberals in this namby-pamby org are gonna fling around absurd catastrophic anthropogenic climate change talking points like that, then they must have adopted a pretty laughable and pathetic banner or logo to hide behind, right? Lemme see if I can find it to post it...



Oh, dear...





Oh, no...





This simply isn't good...





How will deniers manage to slander/disparage this critical institution...?





(Ahem...)





Yup, folks, despite screwball deniers' best efforts, it seems the "liberals" have infiltrated...drum roll, please...the Pentagon!!

Is there nowhere safe from the horrible clutches of...of...legitimate, peer-reviewed, consensus-backed science?!

And look at this starry-eyed, pie-in-the-sky, left-wing quote from the DoD report! I knew it was Obama's fault all along! (Bewildered, flabbergasted, and, quite frankly, shocked and appalled emphasis mine.)

"And because we know that climate change is taking place, we are assessing our coastal and desert installations to help ensure they will be resilient to its effects. Planning for climate change and smarter energy investments not only make us a stronger military, they have many additional benefits–saving us money, reducing demand, and helping protect the environment. These initiatives all support President Obama’s Climate Action Plan..."

- Chuck Hagel, US Secretary of Defense

(Note: For those who experience extreme difficulty recognizing obvious sarcasm, no, this tongue-in-cheek post was not to be taken literally, or as representative of my real views on climate change.)