Saturday, May 31, 2014

Mission Revisited


Google gives you enough room, more or less, to fully convey the purpose/intentions of your blog in the title and description fields, but I'd like to reinforce one perhaps not-so-obvious goal of Whac-A-Troll (I'm a poet and apparently I don't recognize my personal capacity for clever rhyming) that you may or may not have gleaned from those explanations, and that you may or may not have seen at other climate hawk sites: plain language.

Sure, many climate blogs do an excellent job of translating fairly complex scientific and statistical techniques into layman's terms, but what they don't do is appreciate why that alone is not winning the battle in the court of public opinion, and why we have no meaningful emission-reduction policies yet.  Wonderfully-informative sites like Tamino, Skeptical Science, HotWhopper, RealClimate, and so on, do the hard work of translating the findings and implications of climate research into words everyone can understand, and the denier trolls come along and "reward" such well-intentioned toil by simply derailing the discussion with the standard intellectually-dishonest tactics of cherry picking, nitpicking, Gish-galloping, straw-manning, character assassinations, spamming, goalpost-relocating, pretending they weren't schooled/corrected, etc., without an ounce of second thought or shame, and these sites continue to take the high road in the face of this insufferable nonsense.  Some, like the science subreddit, have begun to ban them, to be sure, but that merely kicks the brimming can of denial down the road to another site, if the trolls don't merely change their user names and/or IPs and hang around the same place pulling the same crap.  No matter what, these trolls manage to pop up somewhere and repeat the spineless process again, and again, and again.

I say the best strategy is to come down from the Ivory Tower, and give them a dose of their own medicine, because, in a sense, they are the glorious gift that keeps on giving, an intellectual punching bag that got delivered to your doorstep for free.  Why squander it, or throw it away (i.e.: ban it)?  Virtually beat the living daylights out of it.  And don't be nice about it.  Grab them by the virtual throat and wring every last drop of stupid out of them.  Call them idiots when they are being idiots, while explaining to sensible people why they are idiots (trust me, I at least understand how essential that last part is :)...I'm not trying to be purely vindictive here).  What else is there to do with people who are obviously mentally-unhinged, or paid shills, or both?  This is the approach that I believe will shatter the public impression that there is still a scientific debate going on over man-made climate change.  And the approach that has gotten me banned at more than a few climate hawk sites.  Yup, you got it, torching denier trolls in plain (and sometimes colorful) language has gotten me banned at pro-AGW sites.  This is how frustratingly namby-pamby the defense of an undeniable scientific consensus over the most urgent issue facing mankind can be at times.

And we wonder why we are losing the fight in the eyes of the public.  Gosh, maybe if we're nicer to shameless trolls, or wish them away, their behavior will improve, or they'll just up and decide to vanish from the countless sites available to them on the Internet on their own, right?

Ridiculous.

That's what I mean when I say "plain language."  Not just simplifying the science and then taking the high road; the BS needs to get jammed right back down denier throats with a few extra hot coals of reality added in for good measure and to help improve failing memories.

That suggests deniers are welcome here, which they are, but, that being said, I will not tolerate typical troll behavior: changing the subject, or flooding, or spamming the same nonsense over and over, etc.  If your denier hogwash has been exposed for the vacuous pap that it is, you will admit as much, or further ignorant comments will go bye-bye until you do.  Gish-gallopers need not apply.

Friday, May 30, 2014

The Introductory Dope Slap

Deniers' undying love for Grandpa Al, and other silly, pointless distractions that affect the science behind anthropogenic climate change not one bit.


Climate change deniers make a ton of provably false claims.  The ridiculous clamor makes it seem like there's another side to this issue.  There isn't.  All other causes for the observed warming besides our emissions have been ruled out.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  We'll get to such arguments soon enough, I'm sure.

All I want to do in this post is initiate a preemptive strike on some really, really stale and predictable denier tosh.  Incorporate any of this nonsense in your "arguments" against anthropogenic global warming (AGW), and you will only make my self-appointed task here that much easier.

  1. "Ha ha, Al Gore said blah blah blah.  Oh, and he's fat, and he flies in planes a lot, and he owns an SUV."  Yeah, that's nice.  Your unrequited love for Al Gore might get you turned down for a date, you big infatuated weirdo, but it ain't gonna win this argument.  Climate scientists don't rely on Grandpa Al when conducting or writing up their research.  Show me one peer-reviewed article in a respected science journal that uses him as a reference, or sssshhhheeeeeyyyyaaaatttt up about him already.
  2. "But what about David Suzuki?  Politician X?  Some empty-headed actor?  The green hipster twit cashier at my local whole foods store?"  Uh, no.  See number 1 above.
  3. "Past climate changes were worse, so who cares about this one?"  It hasn't nearly run its course and done its worse yet, but never mind that, because let's follow this point to its logical conclusion.  A really big asteroid or comet could drop out of the sky and sterilize the Earth, so why worry about reducing nuclear bombs which can only take out cities, or states, or nations, right?  Worst.  Argument.  Ever.
  4. "The Sun affects the climate more than CO2.  Duh, you didn't know that?"  AGW addresses the observed modern warming, from which solar variability has been decoupled, so it's neat that you remember 4th grade science lessons, but they don't apply here.
  5. "The warming stopped 16 years ago."  Nope.  Cowtan and Way 2013.  Google it and its findings, and educate yourself.  Don't believe one paper?  Fine, then admit the warming "stopped" many times.
  6. "Ice in Antarctica is growing."  Sea ice is expanding coverage slightly (much less than what is lost in the Arctic) due to...drum roll, please...climate change.  Yup, fresh water inundations from precipitation and land ice melt caused by climate change are preventing sea ice melt.
There are more denier canards, obviously, but those are the ones I see reiterated most often.